I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize