just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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