Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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