I hope mine doesn't look like that
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
