when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
