Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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