I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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