he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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