My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
