i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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