you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
