i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
