Whod you bang
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
