You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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