Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
