Dual....:-)
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
