She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
