NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
