Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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