I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
