The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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