HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
