I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
