her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Help. Why am I so naked?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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