This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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