I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
