his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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