I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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