His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
