ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
