I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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