I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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