Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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