this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Blood and glitter go together right?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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