it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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