Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
