I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
