Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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