Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
