There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
