her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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