Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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