spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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