Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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