I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
