I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
