the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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