I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
