i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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