Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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