i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
