Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
