I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
