Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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