I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
