I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
