It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
