we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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