Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
